This summer my wife Hailey and I had the opportunity to serve one of the greatest families I have ever known, the family of Clyde and Carol Morgan. Clyde and Carol were the next door neighbors to my wife growing up. Hailey was particularly close to Clyde and Carol. Carol became Hailey's best friend through the years and they went to movies, parties, and other events together on a regular basis.
Clyde passed away early in 2014 from complications to his lifelong battle with lupus. His death was extremely painful for all who were deeply influence by his adventurous life, quick wit, and loving personality.
Shortly after his death Carol Morgan began to show signs of increased confusion and forgetfulness. The onset of these symptoms was immediately attributed to the death of her husband as the symptoms became observable right after his death and funeral. As the weeks went by we became more concerned as Carol continued to become more confused and forgetful. One day Carol's daughter went to her home to check on her and noticed her neck was swollen. Carol was taken to her family doctor and later to the hospital due to suspicious swelling in the neck. After a complete evaluation and through a cranial CT the doctors found cancer in Carol's brain. Further biopsies revealed it was Glioblastoma Multiforme.
Glioblastoma Multiforme is the most common type of brain cancer. It is caused by the over replication of astrocyte cells in the brain. Astrocytes are a type of glial cells in brain. Glial cells are brain supporting cells. Astrocytes help to provide nutrients and structure to the neurons in the brain. In Glioblastoma Multiforme the astrocytes multiply uncontrolled and smother the normal brain tissue killing the neurons of the brain causing a wide variety of symptoms depending on the location of the tumor.
Hailey and I were living next door to Carol when she was diagnosed with and began fighting her cancer. She started radiation and chemotherapy at a skilled nursing center. After a month her insurance no longer covered the skilled nursing facility. With our CNA background, Hailey and I offered to step in and provide temporary 24 hour care for Carol in order to help her and her family get the best care possible until one of her children could move in with her. I don't think Hailey and I realized how difficult the struggle would be for Carol and ourselves.
Carol was such a sweetheart and the strongest individual I have ever met. When we stepped in she was starting her first round of oral chemotherapy. The drugs made her so sick. She would be so sick she couldn't sleep. She would beg us for over 30 minutes each night for us not to give it to her, but we encourage her to continue the fight for her children. In the end she knew she wanted to fight for them.
Carol through all her pain, confusion, nausea, fatigue, and numerous other side-effects was always able to put on a smile each day and thank us for helping her. Her struggle was very hard for me to watch. I had never seen someone so close to me hurt so much and be so close to death.
The cancer was so aggressive in Carol's case, that even the oncologists stated it was one of the most aggressive cancers they had ever seen in their careers. The combination of radiation and chemo was estimated to give her a year to live and unfortunately only gave her six weeks. After Hailey and I moved in, Carol lived for a little over three weeks. I can't even begin to explain the depth of grief I felt, let alone the grief of Hailey and Carol's family. I am so grateful that Carol fought and proved her love for life, her children, and God.
The very idea of taking a pill to end her own life was not even a consideration in Carol's mind. I am sure she knew this would be the very fight of her life, but she willing to FIGHT! She wanted to live and enjoy her last moments. I am sure she didn't want to spend her last moments sick in bed and fighting not only the cancer, but also the side-effects of chemo and radiation; however, she did! In so doing she demonstrated that life in the lowest of lows is worth living. Life is a divine gift that God has given man to be stewards of.
We are stewards of our own lives primarily and then in the lives of those we love. As a future physician my oath states "But it may also be within my power to take a life; this awesome responsibility must be faced with great humbleness and awareness of my own frailty. Above all, I must not play at God."
To me, giving a pill to end a life is playing at God; therefore, against any doctor's oath to give such a pill. I feel the physicians who participate in assisted suicide are neither logical nor God-fearing men/women. For if suicide was supposed to be a choice, why then do we not have biological mechanism for self termination? We do not. The only options for suicide are self inflicted through external tools and instruments.
Suicide in numerous cases is due to many complications of the mind and soul, for those cases I leave judgement up to God; nevertheless, for an individual who is hoping to escape a struggle in life, I say it is cowardice. Life is worth living in all of its highs and lows.
Having seen Carol Morgan and her divine struggle, I realize now that the fight is worth it. If not worth it to them that struggle than worth it to those who saw the struggle. Carol's fight demonstrated to me that God has a plan for all His children. Life is not easy! But it has purpose. Through Carol's fight with cancer I realized that I must appreciate the moments God has given me. In the end the only things that matter are the relationships we leave behind and those we create for the eternities.
At the end of all this ranting thank goodness the judgements of all people is left up to God. I cannot justify the actions of another person, nor understand why a person chooses things contrary to my beliefs. I respect the choices of others when it comes to assisted suicide, but I do not condone them in the least. Sorry this post was a little long, but I felt it was a great topic for self-reflection for me and my past experiences relating to current events. Here are some pictures of Carol and her family and our experience with her. Notice she is always smiling! Love life people! Love you forever Morgan family!
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